Men are strange creatures. Some men are willing or want to be feminized. Some men allow themselves or crave to be cuckolded by there wife or girlfriend.  It's about getting in the head of the submissive.  Some men want to relive and confront there junior high or high school fears, rejections or humilations at attempts with women - usually the popular and beautiful ones!

Humiliation Play & Scenes

Humiliation play is so much more then name calling. It is about getting into someone’s head and messing with it, all the while knowing what is going too far.

From the Domme perspective it's about creating this conflict in the mind of your sub and harnessing your inner bitch to verbally or through acts drive your submissive deeper in your web.  This is so not about whips and chains ... it's a mind game and you have to "turn on" that bitch inside you.  Sometimes even for Doms this is easier said than done.  That's why communcation with the submissive is so important.  You need information trapped and not shared out of fear from your sub.  It's your job as the Domme to extract these fears and fantasies.  Chastity goes a "long" way in obtaining this!!!

Women, think about it.  You are trying to get your macho man to tell you his deepest fears or moments of humilation.  ALL men have have these.  You would be AMAZED at what men think about and think is erotic when they masterbate.  As a Dom you need to transfer these isolated/individualistic fastasies on to you.  You don't want them to stop you want to harness them and project yourself into his ultimate moments of male humilation.

Again, it can not be stated too often to go slow and know his limits.  Your man needs to know these dark thoughts and fantasies are going to be "safe" with you.  Never tell other people about your play without his consent.  Just because a man would open up to his Mistress does not mean he wants others to know. 

Done correclty this is a mind-bending dynamic for both the Dom and submissive.

Male Bi-Sexuality

Let's face it.  Most women and many men have "bi-sexual fantasies or dreams".  This is normal.  It does not make a person "gay/homosexual" to have these thoughts.

Now the trick as a Dominant woman is to know your mans bi-drive.  Some males have a stronger bi-drive than others OR to a certain extent would consider acting on these desires under the guidance of a woman.  For many men, moving the fantasy of say giving head to another man or having sex with them, as the submissive/bottom can become a reality with the presence of a woman.  Both in terms of an act of humiliation in front of their Mistress/Wife/Girlfriend or the woman acts as a comfort shield so the man does not feel so "gay".

Such events can unlock more of a submissive's nature and take him to deeper depths in his submission through this kind of FemDom exploration and bisexual experimentation.

For woman who fantasize about seeing their man or perhaps sissy/crossdresser husband is to work this fantasy in conjunction with chastity.  When men are horny and under the guidance of a Mistress anything is possible for a submissive with an open mind.

Working a submissive mind

While a Mistress trains a submissive male, an "intelligent" Mistress will not necessarily push the sub in a specific direction.  Rather through the use of chastity and questioning/probing the Mistress can get a sub to verbally commit to further humiliating acts of subjugation to his Dom.  An example might be while the sub is tied to the bed after some period of chastity and his Mistress releases his cock while his hands and feet are restrained.  While restrained she well tease, strock and masturbate her subs cock to the point he is about to achieve orgasm...but then withdraw.  The Mistress should repeat this tease scenario a number of times then begin to "probe" the submissive's mind by asking questions or offering a fantasy scenario already in her mind.   This will usually send a submissive chastity boy into "hyper-fantasy" mode and in a way a free-flowing sub-space.  The Mistress can then begin to extract the most amazing fantasies and humiliations from her sub.  The Mistress can then use this information to again drive her sub into deeper service and perhaps even have her own fantasies fulfilled without ever letting her sub know it was what "she" wanted.

Quite possibly a Mistress had had these ideas in mind all along but was just waiting for sub chastity boy to introduce them. One of the most powerful D/s dynamics going between Doms and subs is a rule that subs should have to to continually think up new ways and methods by which he could be humiliated and controlled and regularly offer these "gifts" up to his Mistress.  Chastity reinforces this to the hilt.

Cuckolding

One of the best examples of this is when a married couple is engaged in the D/s lifestyle.  The wife is the Mistress and the husband is her submissive/slave and is in some constant form of chastity.  The wife may be harboring fantasies about having sexual relations with other men and cuckolding her husband.

Now, ideally she wants to have sex with other men to simply humiliate her husband and in the D/s context she wants to do this because she is the dominate partner and she can (Yes, it's unequal.  Femdom relationships are.).  At the same time she loves her husband and does not want to cause any real hardcore emotional pain beyond what her husband is capable of taking.

So instead of taking the "direct" route with her husband - "Honey I am going to be having sex with other men now".  She uses her husbands own "manic" sex drive and lack of sexual release to get him to introduce or at least agree that the idea of his wife screwing other men is hot in terms of fantasy. 

Now there are many forks that a Mistress could take in this cuck road:

• She could end up only having sex with her lovers while completely denying her husband.  Some "non-slut" type woman are like this.  They only wish to have sex with one partner at a time, even if she has to deny her husband.  Her husband remains in chastity and is allowed release in accordance to his Mistress's/Wife's desires.  Usually by a humiliating act of masturbation and verbal humiliation by his wife and perhaps her lovers as well.  Again, there are many variations here - the husband could perform clean up duty on his wife after a lover has cum in or on her (creampie).  If this husband is bisexual or if the husband agrees to the request he could serve his wife's lover has well.
• The Mistress/Wife could continue to engage in sex with her husband but again on her terms and with the continued understanding that she is sleeping with other men.
• Will the wife take on a long term boy friend or will she find one or several short term lovers?
• The Mistress/Wife could get the husband to "agree" to long term chastity first, then broach with her husband her own unfulfilled sexual needs brought on by his chastity.  Tell your husband that you know he "needs" to be in chastity and be denied but you also have some sexual needs that need meet. 
• Some women might only take on another submissive lover that they can control, dominate and set the rules. (This is usually best, because the wife always has all the cards.).   Or, Some women who also harbour switch tendancies might find a dominant lover just for her to submit to. (Usually harder for the submissive husband.).  Or, Some women might simply just like a relatively vanilla style lover or lovers...

These are just a few examples.  Doms and subs each come to there own path and understanding of the rules.  Above all there should be a slave or cuckold contract that outlines the rules of play for both the Mistress and submissive.  Everyone should follow the rules.  If the wife wants to change the rules she should get her husband to agree to it.

Cuckolding is a fantastic way to work a submissive mind if done correctly.  But there are pitfalls.  That's why a negotiated contract is appropriate.  Now again this can still be in favor of the women because she has the upside of negotiating while her husband is already in chastity. 

So women, just be careful about how you approach this type of D/s.  If you love your husband you will take into consideration his mental health.  Some men like the "idea or fantasy" of cuckolding but can not do it real life.  Marital problems and divorce could be in your future if you are not careful.  Your husband should (a.) enjoy being your cuckold or (b.) tolerate it in an understanding way.  And one of the steadfast rules especially for married couples is if the submissive husband says stop you should stop or go talk to a divorce lawyer if you can't.  Again, this SHOULD be about humiliating your husband.  That's the "BEST" reason to cuckold you're husband.  Though most Femdom women will agree they do love having sex with multiple partners as well...this is natural.

Advice:  Start of slowly.  Know your man!  Get it in writing!  Start by introducing or getting your sub to introduce the idea of cuckolding as fantasy first.  Work this fantasy primarily when you let your sub out for some tease and denial.  Tell him how hot it would be for "him" to be watching you having sex with another man or men.  Tell him it would be his greatest gift to you...yes get his permission.  It might seem counterintuative as his Owner and Mistress - but really if you actually have his permission you are golden.  Once the topic is in the open go down many roads or ideas you have in your head.  You're not necessarily going to do all these fantasies but you will find what humiliates your husband the most and what he will be able to live with afterwards.

Once the fantasy is deeply rooted in your sub's brain and he likes or has stated he would tolerate it then begin to move it into real life...again slowly building up.

A good example to slowly move the fantasy to real life is the next time you are out together at a club/bar/munch/BDSM event, go and kiss another man - a passionte kiss and a good one.  Afterwards gauge your subs reaction.  See baby steps.  Because again, if you love your husband/sub you do not want to 1.) harm him mentally or 2.) have him leave you.

* Also, as a footnote you should already have a "EXCELLENT" and healthy relationship with your submissive - granted it might be a Femdom and unequal relationship but it should be a healthy one of love, consent and respect.  Because if you are already having other relationship problems cuckolding is a probably a good way to end it.